By Thinkman · August 31, 2010
A friend of mine had a bad day and reached out. He said: "Due to some personal problems I was not in a good mood, but I did all my assigned tasks — and my colleagues and managers made fun of me for being too serious. They say they are showing concern but it hurts me even more."
We both work in a company where digital printing is the core business and colour is quite literally our life — so my response came naturally from that world.
I told him: "Even though we have the ability to see colour, most people see only black or white. They cannot even appreciate the grey scale."
There is always a shade between black and white — a wide range of colour in human personality — that people simply cannot appreciate. If you want to show others that you are fine, you have to be either black or white. And if you want to be white, it has to be really white.
A little quietness, a moment of introspection, a quiet afternoon — all of it gets interpreted as black. Moody. Sad. Troubled. Humans become digital when they cannot process emotions: everything collapses to a binary. On or off. Happy or not.
I told him plainly: "If you are in a shade, it will always be interpreted as black. You are giving your manager and your team a shade every day — which makes you a dull or sad personality in their eyes, even when you are not. If you want to register as white — happy, exuberant, present — do not show even a hint of black in your attitude or manner."
Then I added what I think matters more: "There is no reason why you should try to impress others with your attitude, as long as you are doing good for yourself. The ability to appreciate shades and colours on your own is more important than trying to understand why others cannot."
He was relieved. He understood immediately. He said: "Yes — I will get a box of chocolates, distribute them, and show everyone I am in great mood. That way I can keep the digital people informed that I am doing fine."
That response showed real wisdom — not forced happiness, but a clear-eyed understanding of his environment and a deliberate choice to adapt to it. That is not inauthenticity. That is emotional intelligence.
That same day had started badly for me too. A very dear friend had lost her husband suddenly — an accident, someone about my age. I was carrying that sadness quietly all day. Yet I showed up exuberant and cheerful as I usually do.
The reason is simple: emotions are infectious and visible in a small, tight-knit team. As a manager I did not want to cast a shadow over the people around me with something they could not help and could not fix. I chose white. The sadness was mine to carry — the mood of the room did not need to be.
Managers who can see shades are very successful. Managers who see only black and white are partially successful at best — because a digital outlook to life misses most of what is actually happening in the people around them.
Robin Sharma wrote:
Just because people don't understand your vision doesn't mean it's wrong.
My own interpretation, in the same spirit:
Just because people can't appreciate shades and colours, doesn't mean that you cannot have shades — or be colourful.
